How to be a stay at home mom

12 Compelling Reasons To Be a Stay At Home Mom

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If the idea of becoming a stay at home mom has crossed your mind, you’re probably looking for some compelling reasons to be a stay at home mom and finally take the plunge. This article has just that and more!

When I made the decision to leave my career as an Emergency/Critical Care Veterinary Technician — it was one I pondered for a while.

However, the deciding factor for me what that once I had children, I knew I wanted to step away from work so that I could pour my all into motherhood the same way I did my job. I didn’t want to be half in or half out on either side.

But what about other moms? I recently polled my followers on Instagram and 71% voted that they WANT to become a stay-at-home mom.

I then followed up with why they haven’t made the choice. I’ll be honest, I was expecting finances to be the top choice (considering the majority of my followers are in California). Surprisingly enough, the highest reason my followers didn’t take the plunge was that they “feared it wouldn’t be good for their mental health“.

Today, I’m going to shed a little insight into life as a stay at home mom, both the pros and the cons!

Image with a workbook for moms to help with feeling overwhelmed and mom guilt created by clinical psychologist

Reasons to Be a Stay At Home Mom

You Raise Your Children and See all Their Milestones

The best thing (in my opinion) about being a stay at home mom is that I am the one who is raising my babies. I am the person that gets to teach them the values we have as a family.

I am the one who gets to be there when a precious milestone is met. Such as saying their first word, crawling for the first time, or even helping them take their first steps.

Who reading this watches the show “Working Moms“?

If you don’t, I’d highly recommend watching it if you’re into comedy shows making light of mom’s life with a hint of raw truth humor. It’s good, trust me.

I remember a scene in the show where the main character missed her son saying his first word because she went back to her corporate job. When I was watching that it just broke my heart for every mom out there that misses those sweet moments.

I know everyone can’t just up and leave their job and maybe some truly are happy to work, but for those yearning to be home with their babies — I understand.

That’s why I made a FULL LIST of jobs you can do from home, you might have to slowly transition, but it’s possible!

Save BIG on Daycare Costs

In California, the average annual cost of childcare is $8,230, for infancy care, it bumps up to $11,817 (according to an article at The Balance).

Keep in mind those are just averages, I’ve had working mom friends here in San Diego tell me that ONE MONTH alone for 4 days/week of daycare for an entire month cost about $2,000-$3,000 per child.

When you take those averages and tie them into the amount of money you’ll be bringing home (not to mention the gas money it takes for you to get to and from work), it could definitely offset the cost of child care for you to be a stay at home mom.

You Can Always Go Back To Work

Sometimes, women feel torn between choosing their jobs or their children. Of course, our children should come first, right? But what if you love your job?

Here is the way I like to think about it. If money isn’t the primary reason holding you back then you can ALWAYS go back to work at the end of the day.

Plus, as a stay-at-home mom, as your children get older (especially once they’re in school) you’ll begin to have more free time open up. It could be nap times, bedtimes, or during school.

During this time you can work from home, take an online class to stay up to date on your credentials, or even pick up a part-time job.

The point is, there is still lots of opportunity for you if you’re worried you won’t be able to work again.

You Have Control Over Your Routine

When your children are babies, chances are, they’ll be calling the shots for some time. I mean, reasonably so, babies require lots of attention, comfort, and guidance.

Let’s be real, this won’t change too much throughout toddlerhood either.

As a stay at home parent, you’ll be able to create a routine for your family from the early days on up that really helps your day-to-day life thrive.

These types of routines can revolve around sleep schedules, schooling, extracurricular activities, doctor appointments, and more.

This is especially important if you have multiple kids because we all know kids need one on one attention outside of family time, what better way to schedule that in.

Here’s an example of how you can use your stay at home mom time to dominate your schedule and make time for family activities:

  • scheduling weekly family night
  • going on mother/son or mother/daughter dates individually
  • getting creative and doing crafts with your littles

Being a Stay at Home Mother Can Help Your Marriage

Many parents face conflict after having a baby for various reasons.

The stress of caring for a baby, raising young children, working a full-time job, managing household chores, not spending time together when you’re both working, lack of sleep, stressing over the daycare bill, and more. These are all a recipe for disaster when it comes to maintaining a strong relationship with your partner.

Now, imagine — not being stressed out about your childcare payments. Imagine getting to stay home with your babies and handle the household duties the way YOU want them to be handled.

Imagine fitting in some naps throughout the day to feel replenished and have enough energy to show up for your partner once they get home from work.

Does it always work out this way? Nope. However, if you can get a routine down and find ways to meet you needs, there’s no reason it can’t be this way.

She made this course SPECIFICALLY for pregnant and postpartum parents! After taking the class myself, I can’t say how helpful it was to feel like I basically had a marriage counseling session done at my own pace in my own room!

You Can Have Pajama Day (as many days as you want)

You know those days you wake up and simply do not feel like getting ready?

Well, as a stay at home mom, you can have pajama day as often as you’d like! Now, obviously, this one is a little more silly, but who doesn’t love a good ol’ PJ day every once and a while?!

You Won’t Regret Becoming a Stay At Home Parent

Being a stay at home mom, despite the chaos, is really rewarding. You have to find the balance between being a mom and being a person that isn’t just a mom — or else it could be detrimental to your mental health.

When you find that balance, it will be the best decision you’ve ever made.

Staying Home May be Less Stressful

If you have a demanding job, there’s no doubt that transitioning to be a stay at home mom may be much less stressful.

Meeting deadlines, constantly being contacted by your boss, not getting to take time off, working overtime and more are just a few reasons balancing life within the work force and home life can become incredibly exhausting.

Not sure which one will be the “easier” route? Well, being a stay at home mom isn’t easy by any means. However, you may find yourself feeling much more fulfilled with this type of job. Take some time to make a pros and cons list for yourself so you can visually see which path might be more fitting for you.

These Are Moments You’ll Never Get Back

Each day that passes by is a day you cannot get back. There are many parents who live in regret that they didn’t the chance or make the choice to become stay at home parents. Some, understandably don’t have a choice.

For the ones that do, the guilt can really set in and cause a lot of dysfunction within yourself.

As much as it’s hard to hear, our children grow up so fast before our eyes. If the opportunity presents itself, be sure to weigh this one out as it’s a big one you don’t want to regret later.

Develop a Deeper Bond with Your Child (or children)

There is no doubt that almost all parents have an incredibly special bond with their children. As a stay at home mom, I can attest that the bond I share with my young kids feels so much deeper than when I wasn’t as present and focusing on work instead.

Since prioritizing my role as a mother, I’ve gained such a better understanding of my children’s needs and their struggles so I can show up and parent more consciously and build memories with the quality time we now have.

Be Your Child’s Number One Advocate

If there is one thing you will never be prepared for as a parent, it’s having a child who has special needs beyond a neurotypical child. My 3-year-old son is autistic and boy, the learning curve I faced and had to navigate could have been so much harder had I not been a stay at home mom.

I had to learn the role of “advocating” to a whole new extent. But what about children who are just sick? Maybe have a medical condition? Maybe they’re just clingy newborns suffering from reflux? Well, advocacy shows up there too.

When you’re juggling life at work vs life at home — advocacy can feel much harder.

You Learn A Lot About Yourself

One of the most rewarding parts of being a stay at home mom is that it will open up new doors for you to explore and learn about yourself. Want to know why?

Children are triggering for us. Listening to a newborn scream and seeming inconsolable can be triggering. Having 2 hours of sleep each night is triggering. Past wounds that remain unhealed from family members can arise and be triggering. Toddlers pushing boundaries are triggering.

Aside from being triggering, those things all hold one other thing in common. It’s that WE, as parents, have a lot of baggage to deconstruct so that we aren’t so burnt out from our children’s triggers.

This type of inner-work will only make your family life better, your relationship with yourself, your partner, and your children better. When you’re stuck with your child all day long, you can bet this work will creep up one way or another.

Ultimately, there are plenty of amazing reasons to be a stay-at-home mom. They may not always look the same for everyone, but they sure come with lots of new challenges and also rewards.

Challenges of Being a Stay At Home Mom

Bein a stay at home mom is far from easy.

When my journey into leaving my part-time job began, it was a very uncertain feeling. Could I handle life as a full time mom? Would we be able to survive without my small income? How can I manage knowing my husband has a somewhat crazy work schedule?

Lots of uncertainty, with many challenges I wasn’t fully prepared for.

If you’re wondering what some of the challenges of being a stay at home mom could be, keep on reading below.

How to Work From Home With a Baby

I’m really fortunate that I had a job I could do from home when I transitioned to becoming a full time stay-at-home mother. It was a demanding job, but had flexibility which allowed me to stay home with my baby and watch him grow.

But with any job, come responsibilities. Responsibilities that can be really hard to focus on when you have a 14-month-old running around screaming, throwing his 20th tantrum of the day, or just flat out needs mommy’s attention.

This is right around the time the mom guilt sets in and you start to feel like maybe you weren’t meant to do this work.

I want to remind you that any kind of adjustment takes time. It takes patience and grace to find the routine that best fits your home life environment (especially if you’re a work from home mom).

You’ll Experience Mom Guilt

I think one of the biggest reasons we end up so unhappy being stay at home moms is because we let that annoying ‘mom guilt’ get the best of us.

Now, I understand there are some solid reasons to feel like you’re mourning the old you.

For instance, maybe you gave up your big career job to be a stay at home mom.

I know so many people would die to stay home with their kids, but others, they thrive better at work!

The important part to remember is that it’s OK to feel those feelings.

You don’t need to love being a stay at home mom. And if it isn’t for you, there’s no shame in doing what you need to do.

After all, you’ll only be able to give your best if you feel your best!

You could also be feeling like you’re lonely & aren’t getting enough self-care in.

First, if you aren’t taking enough time for yourself, YOU NEED TO!

I don’t mean you need to take a vacation for weeks in some crazy resort, but you do need to work in some “mommy time” to recuperate.

I mean you can only take so much before you need a break. And I know it’s so hard to take that time without feeling guilty for it, but don’t.

As you make it more of a priority to fit in your mommy time (washing your face, doing some journaling, soul searching, attending a therapy session, etc…), you’ll notice how much more refreshed you feel.

Maybe you’re feeling like you don’t have enough time in the day to finish all your chores or tasks.

I really find that keeping a schedule or calendar full of my “to-do lists” can help me organize my day. This way I’m able to prioritize things that MUST get done vs. what can wait until later.

There’s no need to beat yourself over dishes or laundry that didn’t get done. Those things can get done later.

I know it’s hard to come to that conclusion, but seriously mama’s, don’t beat yourself upon it.

You Might Feel Lonely

I think it’s much easier to lose yourself as a stay at home mom vs a working mom, but that’s just my opinion.

One of the reasons for this is because you literally spend SO much time with your kids. Mealtimes are catered to our children, errands happen around their schedule, and so on.

Eventually, the friends you use to see for long hours at work are no longer there day after day anymore. Your best friend who hasn’t had children yet can’t relate to your struggles so naturally she shows up less and less. Before you know it, life feels a bit more lonely.

One way to combat this is to expand your circle of support. Every mother deserves to have a strong support system of friends (<– click that link for more tips).

Becoming a stay at home mom is a big decision. And it’s no surprise there are some compelling reason to be a stay at home mom along with the cons of being a stay at home parent. So, have you made your pros and cons list yet? Do you think being a stay at home mom is right for you? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Read more postpartum articles here:

12 Compelling Reasons to Be a Stay At Home Mom

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4 thoughts on “12 Compelling Reasons To Be a Stay At Home Mom”

  1. I am not a SAHM but I do appreciate the moms that are. It is just as much work as if you went to a job outside of the home. Salute to all the moms whom hold it down everyday!

    1. Aw such a sweet comment! Agreed they both have their own unique challenges and I can totally understand the struggles of them all<3

  2. I absolutely love being a stay at home mom! Everyone always says “I feel so sorry for you, all alone with the kids all the time”. I don’t know why, I’m in heaven! Lol I mean….I can also relate to a lot on Working Moms..great show! But There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I missed the first years of my first 2 sons, then I got to enjoy all of it with my youngest. It’s amazing.

    1. Haha agreed mama! I wouldn’t trade it for the world even though some days I do just need my space, but it’s so worth all of it <3

      That’s so amazing to hear you were able to stay home with all your babies!

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