Preparing For Two Under Two — The Ultimate Preparation Guide

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It’s no surprise raising young children close in age can be challenging. From developmental milestones that entail walking and crawling to the ones that include managing big explosive feelings…it can be a lot of work. If you’re wondering how to manage to raise children two under two, this article is about to be your best friend.

I’ll be honest, as a mom of two under two, the transition from one child to having a second child was tough.

As a first-time mom who had recently left her career to be a stay-at-home mom, I had all the time in the world to dedicate to adjusting to motherhood. My son got all of my quality time, and my husband and I could still do date nights with ease because bringing a newborn to a restaurant is way easier than a toddler.

Once my second son was born, the days of being new parents were long over and now we had to find a balance between caring for both our older child and second baby.

The first year as a whole felt difficult. As our newborn reached new milestones, so did our toddler.

For us, we didn’t know it at the time, but our oldest is autistic. He began showing signs of a speech delay, severe separation anxiety, and unmanageable meltdowns when he reached 16-18 months old.

That is a whole different story of its own, but the point I’m trying to make is that you don’t know what cards you’ll be dealt.

You might have the world’s most chill toddler and newborn so two under two is a piece of cake.

You might have a chill toddler but cranky newborn who never sleeps. This is why it’s important to do a little preparation for the best thing that’s yet to come, your children.

What Makes Having Two Under Two So Challenging?

There is no distinct singular challenge that makes raising two children under the age of two challenging or difficult. However, it’s the slew of changes that can add up and make things difficult. Here’s a list of a few common issues moms from my Instagram following sent in response when I asked:

• Being pregnant & exhausted while still having to raise a toddler.

• Not getting any sleep because your newborn keeps you up at night and your toddler also still wakes up at night.

• Not having any time to spend with your partner because you’re both tapped out by the end of the day.

• Toddler dislikes their baby siblings.

• Takes twice as long to run to the grocery store.

• Trying to breastfeed or pump with a toddler getting into everything (worst when they mess with your breast pump).

• Getting everyone’s sleep schedules aligned can take some time & practice.

• Never really getting any time to yourself.

• Missing out on the 1 on 1 time you use to get with your first child.

This list could seriously go on for days, but I wanted to give a brief overview of why parents find the two under two stage challenging.

Pros and Cons of Having a Less Than 2 Year Age Gap Between Babies?

I remember when my husband and I decided to have our 2nd baby, the one thing we both were certain on is that we wanted our kids to be close in age. We both thought it was a great idea so that our kids could grow up to be close friends, go to school together, and really have one another backs as they got older.

However, those aren’t the only important things to consider. Below, you can find a list of pros and cons to having two children under two:

Pros to having babies close in age:

• They grow up close to each other and hopefully develop a strong lasting bond.

• Once adjusted, your toddler will likely be eager to help out with her or her baby sibling!

• You can line them up on the same schedule (feedings/sleep/etc…).

• The baby stage is still pretty fresh, so starting over isn’t a huge deal.

• You probably still have hand-me-downs from your toddler & can save big time by using them!

• Depending on how many kids you plan to have, you can finally be done with “being pregnant” and enjoy your body fully as your own once the next baby stage ends (but deep down we never really want it to end).

• You’re much more comfortable asking for the help you need.

• You become much more flexible and forgiving with yourself.

• They eventually can and will keep each other company (seriously, it’s too adorable).

Cons to having babies close in age:

• Having a baby less than 12 months apart can put mom and baby at risk for various health issues according to one study done in 2018 by JAMA Internal Medicine Journal.

• Risk of developing or worsening any ongoing perinatal mood disorders.

• The gold standard rule is for moms to wait at least 18 months before getting pregnant again.

• It takes away time from your other child.

• Some moms feel like they miss out on certain milestones and stages because they can’t solely focus on one child.

• Ending one phase just to “start over” again (baby phase ends for one, begins for another).

• Possibly breastfeeding while being pregnant (it’s perfectly normal, but can take a toll on a pregnant mom making her more tired & exhausted).

• Feeling of lots of “chaos” trying to manage a baby and toddler together.

• Heightened tantrums and behaviors from your toddler as they adjust.

As you can see, this is a long list of pros and cons.

There’s a lot that goes into weighing the decision of whether two young littles can be right for your family. Have you found yourself contemplating some of these considerations? I encourage you to make a list and discuss it in depth with your partner so that you can both come to a decision that is best for your family.

Now, let’s jump into how you can prepare yourself for success with two littles under two!

15 Tips for Preparing For Two Under Two (A Step By Step Preparation Guide)

1) Start preparing your toddler for their new sibling’s arrival through reading.

I’ll admit, one of the BEST things I did, was try to prepare our son for his new brother’s arrival.

I bought a few books (I Am a Big Brother & The New Baby) and began reading these to my toddler every night before bed.

He absolutely loved them! Though I don’t think he truly understood what exactly was happening, he was able to start realizing that a change was happening.

Here are a few other books to consider:

• You’re a Big Brother

• My New Baby

• Waiting for Baby

• Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood: The Baby is Here

2) Enlist the help of your toddler

If there’s one thing young children love, it’s to help! They truly find so much joy in being able to help around the house all on their own.

So, enlist their help with simple chores around the house that involves preparing for the baby. Easier things they can help with would be helping to wash & fold your baby’s laundry or even helping you pick out colors or wallpaper for the baby’s room.

3) Take a Parenting Class

If you’re finding it hard to navigate parenthood with your toddler and their big feelings, adding a baby into the mix is not going to make things easier. This is the time to spend pouring into yourself and your family. How? Try taking a parenting class!

The great part of these parenting classes I suggest to families is that you can take them on your own time, in the comfort of your own home!

They’re created by a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in child development, cycle-breaking, and maternal mental health. This therapist has years of clinical experience under her belt along with being a parent herself.

Here are the three I think would be the most helpful for any parent trying to minimize the overwhelm and anxiety of parenthood before welcoming another child into the mix (you don’t need to take all 3 to find massive insight, just one of these will offer so much support):

• Becoming the Conscious Parent You Never Had
• Raising Conscious Siblings
• Let Go of Your Triggers

4) Start practicing more quiet time or independent play with your toddler.

Quiet time and independent play are amazing tools for young toddlers.

In fact, independent play is a very important part in your child’s natural development.

When toddlers are allowed to have their own space and freedom to play independently as they choose, it allows them to work on things like regulating their emotions, building confidence, and enhancing their imagination!

You can start incorporating more quiet time or independent play simply by setting up their play space with lots of engaging toys such as:

• Toddler puzzles (Melissa & Doug have some of our absolute favorite and exciting puzzled for toddlers)
• Building blocks
• Activity Cubes
• Train Sets
• Lift-a-flap Books

Then, practice easing into it. Start off by sitting close by and observing as they play. You can even give them a set of simple, clear, and concise rules to follow.

Once they are really focused on their activity, you can try to move away and build up to where you’re able to do your own activities. As a young toddler, most times can only handle a few minutes at a time.

2-5 minutes may not seem like much, but to a toddler, it feels like forever, so start there and work your way up over a few weeks as they tolerate it. You’ll have a little more free time to get things done around the house or tend to your newborn’s needs once their big sibling starts to master the art of independent play.

5) Have a few new toys ready to give your toddler when their sibling is born.

Since welcoming a little brother or little sister can be overwhelming for some kids, some parents break out special toys for their child to celebrate becoming an older sibling.

I’m not saying this is my favorite approach because to be honest, it’s not. But sometimes we end up in survival mode and if it works for you, great!

What I would suggest, is if you can already tell transitions are tough for your toddler — check out this course to learn how to better collaborate and help your child manage their feelings around this new change of becoming a sibling.

6) Plan to have some extra help during the first month or two after baby number 2 is born.

The second time around you welcome a child, you’ll be faced with a little less time as you juggle raising a toddler and infant simultaneously.

One of the best ways you can beat the sense of overwhelm and exhaustion is by having some help lined up. Now, often times people will ask some friends or family members to lend a hand with simple tasks around the house. However, if you don’t have that type of support, you can hire the help you need!

Postpartum doulas are an awesome support system to have in your corner when adjusting to a second child and recovering from birth, however, they’re not the cheapest.

In that event, you may find simply hiring a nanny to be more cost-effective and helpful to provide more care for your toddler while you prioritize your infant’s needs.

Learn more about the similarities and differences between a postpartum doula and a nanny.

7) Prepare your meals well in advance

Preparation is KEY when it comes to managing two under two.

Take some time before your due date to meal prep some frozen dinners and ready-to-cook crockpot meals.

If cooking really isn’t your thing, you can also look into having meals delivered straight to your door!

Here are a few meal delivery services I’ve used before:

• Freshly — they provide some of the most delicious meals (already cooked) I’ve ever had. I’m actually not even a huge pasta lover, in fact, I’d take a burger over pasta any day, but their Baked Penne plate is SO DARN GOOD!

• GrubHub — This is an excellent alternative to prepped meals! GrubHub is a food delivery option so you can place an order at your favorite local eatery & get your yummy food delivered right to your door! I used them a few times after my 2nd was born and it was a lifesaver!

• SmoothieBox — if full meals are a bit too heavy for your liking, you’ll love SmoothieBox! They deliver fresh, ready-to-blend smoothie packs to your door! Plus, all their packs are completely lactation friendly (bonus for all you breastfeeding mamas).

• HelloFresh — You’ve probably heard of HelloFresh (and seen me post about them on my Instagram page!) They provide yummy meals ready-to-cook straight to your door. Their super fast & easy to whip up. Plus, they eliminate the need to grocery shop for all your recipe ingredients! I wouldn’t suggest using this RIGHT after baby is born, but it’s really helpful once you establish a routine a few months in!

Preparing your meals early or at least lining up some solid meal deliveries will help you carve out more time for your two under two while not starving yourself as a busy mama!

8) Stock up on essential groceries before your due date.

When my 2nd was born, it was smack dab in the middle of the pandemic. Great timing, right?

The last thing I wanted to do or have my husband do, was run out to the store while we had a newborn at home to stock up on essential groceries we could’ve done BEFORE baby’s arrival.

So, between Amazon Fresh, Shipt, and Thrive Market — I saved loads of money and stocked up on grocery essentials!

Here’s a list of some of the items we bought:

• Toilet Paper (from Costco)

• Paper Towels

• Laundry Detergent (from Costco)

• Chips

• Granola Bars

• Cereal

• Frozen Veggies & Fruits

• Some meat to store in the freezer

• Ibuprofen

• Trash Bags

• Shampoo/Conditioner (this brand is PHENOMENAL during the postpartum stage to keep your hair soft, shiny, and in good condition, while you’re experiencing postpartum hair loss).

• Toothpaste

• Lotion

• Dog food

There are probably some items my #mombrain is making me forget to add to this list, but I promise if you get these items, you’ll be pretty stocked up on your essentials!

9) Get your toddler acquainted with whoever will be watching them during your hospital stay.

This is a must. If you are planning to give birth at a hospital or birthing center, you will likely need to arrange childcare. If your toddler isn’t familiar with the person coming to watch them, please give them time to get acquainted.

Let them see your routine, what you make for your toddler’s meals, etc… Luckily for us, my mom came to help but was still a rough transition because she wasn’t fully aware of our entire routine.

Unfortunately, it really threw him off to be off routine for about 36 hours. In a perfect world, whoever is helping could spend that week with you to really get the hang of things and make your toddler more comfortable too!

10) Don’t force them to greet their new sibling.

This can be hard. You’ll want your toddler to meet their new sibling SO BAD, but it’s important not to push that boundary if they’re just not feeling it.

First, come home and acknowledge your toddler WITHOUT baby. This will help them adjust to you returning home and getting that special greeting with just you and your partner.

Then, let them know their sibling has arrived and you’ll be bringing them in. You can tell them they’re welcome to say hi or to continue whatever activity they’re preoccupied with.

Once you bring baby number 2 in, you can give your toddler their “gift”. You could say something like “Hey sweetie, your new brother is here. He got you a present because he loves you so much!” You can also simply introduce them and let your toddler let you know when they’re ready to learn more about their sibling.

Allowing them to feel like they have some choices within a healthy boundary is so important to fostering a positive introduction.

11) Let go of expectations.

Trust me on this — you do NOT need to expect yourself to:

• Parent two under two perfectly

• Be able to juggle life with a toddler and a baby without any chaos

• Be perfect

• Feel energized

• Eat perfectly healthy meals

• Exercise

• Take it all on all by yourself

Parenting ANY young children, especially two under two is hard.

Start getting into the habit of letting go of those unrealistic expectations while you’re still pregnant so you can actually enjoy those early postpartum days instead of feeling like you’re not doing a good enough job.

Because guess what? YOU ARE.

12) Purchase a high-quality double stroller

I had a bulky double stroller that I purchased because it was cheap and it was compatible with my boy’s car seats. That was my biggest regret. If you’re going to invest in a stroller, make sure you get a good one.

I asked a few mamas of multiples on my social media page which double strollers they love and these two were consistently recommended:

• Mockingbird Stroller (easily converts from a single stroller to a double stroller and the seats recline flat eliminating the need to attach a car seat)

• Joovy Caboose (this is a pretty affordable option and appears to be great for pushing toddlers and babies around)

13) Plan out your self-care time in advance

Any time you add more children into the mix, it’s a good idea to ensure you’re prioritizing some extra time for yourself. It can be exhausting trying to take care of a newborn, let alone, toddlers (especially during the first couple of weeks) while everyone adjusts.

Talk to your partner or nanny and make sure you are scheduling in time for some self-care.

It could be going for a walk one morning, getting your hair done, going out to lunch with a friend, whatever it may be — don’t skip refilling your cup.

14) Extend your maternity leave (if you can)

If you have the option to go on extended maternity leave, this can be a great way to really prioritize your recovery after birth and your family’s adjustment to the newest addition.

Plus, rushing back to work can be extra hard on moms who are trying to breastfeed. They’ll need to get a good breast pump and hope that pumping is enough to keep up their milk supply.

Extending your maternity leave can also give you some time to get some extra snuggles in with your little baby, but also have some one-on-one time with your toddler as they adjust to their new sibling.

15) Get ready to feel your heart double in size

I saved this for last because it’s true.

I spent a lot of time worrying about how I was physically and emotionally capable of loving another baby just as much as my first.

It’s something I don’t even know how to put into words, but it happens.

It might take a few days, maybe even months, but it will happen.

One day, you’ll be taking it all in. Being a mom to two little children. Wondering how in the world you got so lucky to be chosen as their mama. That’s when it’ll hit you.

The enormous amount of love you feel in your heart for both those little souls.

Two Under Two Must-Haves

Now that you have a solid plan in place to start preparing for what’s to come, there are a few items I consider MUST HAVES when you have two under two.

Trust me, these items will make your new busy life a whole lot easier!

1) Double Stroller

A double stroller is a MUST MUST MUST!

On the days you want to go out for a stroll or maybe the baby won’t sleep so you turn to a nice nature walk to help them sleep, a double stroller will be your best friend!

Now, here’s the thing, there’s a TON of double strollers on the market.

I asked my Facebook group of moms which double strollers they have or have used and which ones they prefer. Here are their preferences:

• TOP PICK — Mockingbird Stroller

• LUXURY, BUT BUDGET FRIENDLY PICK — Joovy Caboose

2) Reliable Baby Carrier

Having a reliable baby carrier is important so that you can actually keep up with your toddler and your baby at the same time!

Plus, a high quality baby carrier will provide some kind of back support so you don’t feel your back in pain after lugging around your infant all day.

My 3 FAVORITE baby carriers are:

• Nalakai Ring Sling — I love the ring sling because of its simplicity. I can easily get my little guy in and out within seconds. I can breastfeed him with ease (and privacy) if needed. And, it’s the cheapest carrier I own while remaining top-notch quality! You can actually read all about the review I wrote about Nalakai here.

• LilleBaby Airflow — Lillebaby is my first love baby carrier. With their thick waistband offering lots of back support to the breathable material, this carrier is also affordable, providing lots of versatility as baby grows bigger and bigger.

• Ergobaby Embrace Carrier — This baby carrier is the perfect blend between a soft high-quality baby wrap and a standard baby carrier. It’s soft, breathable and so easy to carry your infant around in.

3) AirFryer

I know I know…how the heck can an AIRFRYER help you manage two under two?

Well, this isn’t specifically for your kids, it’s for you!

You will seriously cut back SO MUCH TIME in the kitchen with your airfryer. I use mine at least 4 days out of the week, if not more. It’s awesome!

Want to make some chicken nuggets for your toddler? Easy, cook em’ in the airfryer.

Want to bake a little pizza? Easy, put it in the airfryer.

I’ve cooked chicken wings, chicken nuggets, fresh french fries, hash browns, toast, and so much more in our airfryer. But the best part is that it cuts your cooking time down SO much!

It’s been one of my favorite purchases since having an infant and a toddler.

4) Portable baby swing or baby rocker

There will be plenty of times where you’re unable to babywear or you simply just need to set baby down.

Getting a portable baby swing or rocker you can move around the house will be so helpful! Plus, toddlers LOVE helping take care of their siblings.

We have a portable baby swing that doubles as a rocking seat and my 2 year old loves to rock his baby brother in the seat. Comes in extra handy when I’m trying to get some chores done around the home!

5) Upgraded diaper backpack

If your diaper bag is pushing the small side, you’ll want to consider upgrading to a diaper backpack like this!

I was really lucky when this backpack was gifted to me by KeaBabies because it’s awesome (you can read more about them and their amazing diaper bag for daily use here).

When you go from one kid to two, a toddler and infant, you’ll be packing a lot more items whenever you leave the house.

You’ll have snack bowls and water cups for your toddler. Diapers, wipes, pacifiers, changing pad(s), extra clothing, teething toys, and much more for baby.

That’s why Keababies Original Diaper Backpack (as seen above) is the best diaper bag for moms with more than 1 child!

It comes in cute colors, has tons of storage, and is extremely affordable (less than $40)!

Other features I LOVE about this diaper bag:

• It has a wide opening on top, making it easy to pack and unpack.

• The diaper bag is one of the most spacious bags I have yet to find.

• It came with its own changing pad (which is nice and padded by the way).

• The side pockets are HUGE – perfect to store a pack of baby wipes or even a large water bottle like the one I like to lug around.

• You can get this bag for LESS THAN $40…it’s a total steal!

The KeaBabies Original Diaper Backpack is EASILY the best diaper backpack around.

Ready to grab a bag for yourself? CLICK HERE & use code momafterbaby to save 10% off your purchase!

What’s It Like Parenting Two Under Two? Real Moms Share Their Experience

As much as I can share my tips to help you prepare, the truth is, there’s so many moms who each have their own unique experiences!

So, I took to the forums and asked for their real & raw opinions too!

Below, you can see all these incredible mamas share their stories of raising two under two — the good, bad, and ugly!

As you can see, all these moms share a different experience. Some struggled more than others, some would do it again in a heartbeat.

You really have to decide what will be best for you and your family.

How To Manage Two Kids Under Two

Alright, now for the fun stuff! AFTER baby gets here and your hands are literally full between an infant and a toddler — what’s a mom to do?

I’m answering some of your top questions when it comes to parenting and managing two under two!

How To Grocery Shop With A Newborn Baby & A Toddler

Ah, grocery shopping.

That first trip out where anxiety creeps up on you, your palms are sweaty, and your sitting there preparing a mental game plan of how you can get in and out of the store ASAP with your two littles.

Take a deep breath.

I won’t like, outings with my two under two I avoided as much as I could in the beginning. However, I was introduced to an INCREDIBLE product that helped make grocery shopping (specifically) 10 times easier with my little boys!

It’s called, Binxy Baby!

Binxy Baby makes seat covers (for toddlers) and cart hammocks (for babies/car seats) so that you can load up your kiddos into a grocery cart WITH EASE!

As a bonus, you get to avoid lots of icky germs too.

Here’s a picture below of us using our Binxy Baby seat cover & hammock.

I swear by this product so much after now having 2 young children. It keeps everyone safe & secure in your shopping cart so you can grab all you need, get in, and get out in a breeze!

Other tips to make grocery shopping smooth with two little kids:

• Make a list ahead of time (plate joy can help make your grocery list in an instant).

• Opt for grocery delivery instead!

• Shop when the store is less likely to be crowded.

• Try to go with a friend or your partner.

• Pack your diaper back 10-15 mins before you leave (so you don’t forget anything at home).

Develop a SOLID Two Under Two Routine

Believe it or not, children THRIVE on routines. I like to believe we as moms, do too!

You get into the habit of knowing what to expect throughout the day which makes it that much more manageable.

The best part about a daily routine, is that it CAN allow some flexibility.

For instance, this is what our morning routine looks like:

• Baby wakes up between 6:00 am -6:30 am

• Toddler wakes up between 6:30 am – 7:00 am

• Once both kids are clothed, the baby has nursed and the toddler eats a snack, I tackle 2-3 tasks (feed the dogs, make us breakfast, load/unload the dishwasher, or load/unload laundry).

• Then it’s time for the baby to take his first nap.

• While baby naps for 1-2 hours (on a good day), I’ll spend that time playing with my toddler & getting myself ready for the day.

The rest of our day is pretty easy and dependent on what we have planned.

Afternoon nap time is from 1-3 pm.

Between waking from the nap and bedtime, we use this time to play, cook dinner, and do bathtime.

Bedtime starts between 6:30 pm – 7:00 pm (for the baby, it ends up being closer to 7:30 pm since I have to put my toddler to bed first).

Overall it’s a pretty basic routine. Makes the days manageable and easier to handle!

Pay attention to signs toddler is jealous of new baby

One of the hardest parts about having 2 children under 2, is that a 2-year-old is still very much learning how to do things like:

• Communicate

• Express themselves

• Understand emotions

• Self regulate

They’re all skills they have yet to master which makes it easier for them to feel frustrated and jealous when a new baby rolls into town and takes up all THEIR attention from you.

I found (through lots of trail and error) that taking a step back and really paying attention to my toddler’s triggers would help me identify why he was getting so jealous at times.

This helped me come up with solutions to help him either self-regulate or prevent them from escalating.

If you find yourself struggling in this area or are worried it could be a big challenge for you, I encourage you to check out expert Bryana Kappadakunnel who specializes in Infant-Family Early Childhood Mental Health.

I absolutely love everything she teaches. She has impacted my role as a mother in such a positive way I’ll never be able to take her enough.

And, she has an online course all about Taming Toddler Tantrums which I found to be a very helpful resource during the two under two stage!

Parenting Two Under Two, When Does It Get Easier?

The million-dollar question, when does it get easier?

We’re at the stage where my infant is 6 months old and my toddler is just over 2 years of age — this stage is feeling easier and easier each day.

Once baby starts sleeping more and on a schedule you’ll feel better overall.

Once your toddler starts adjusting to being a sibling and starts showing interest to help you with the baby, it’ll be such a huge weight lifted off your shoulders.

Parenting in general is always full of new challenges and surprises.

The great part is that we learn to adapt and face them instead of being shocked by them like we were with our first babies.

If you read this entire guide, you should be well set and ready for tackling the challenges that come with raising two under two.

What questions about parenting two under two do you still worry about?

Other Posts You’ll LOVE:

• Positive parenting tips for parents raising toddlers with big feelings

• Best Sleep Sack for Toddlers & Baby

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