Preparing for The Fourth Trimester: 12 Tips for New Moms
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Preparing for the fourth trimester can be a scary time for new moms. If you’re feeling a bit scared and overwhelmed about how you’re going to manage life after birth, don’t worry. These 15 tips will have you well-prepared for motherhood in the fourth trimester.
Postpartum is a complex time in any woman’s life. You have the physical aspect where your body is trying to recover from the act of giving birth — some more complicated than others. Then, you have the emotional aspect where your hormones are adjusting and your feelings could be all over the place.
Those two components together are hard enough. Then you have to worry about taking care of a newborn baby, maintaining your relationship with your partner, and oh yeah, eventually creating a routine that involves life as we know it (jobs, schooling, etc…).
The good news is, that despite there being some bumps in the road, there are ways you can set yourself up for success during this postpartum period. I’m going to share 12 of my best tips to help you out below.
What Is The Fourth Trimester?
The fourth trimester is the 12 weeks after your baby is born. These 12 weeks are crucial moments of your baby’s life because they are solely dependent on you (mama) to care for, nourish, and love them as they adjust to the new world outside of your womb.
It involves lots of physical and emotional changes for women as their body is recovering from the act of giving birth, hormonal changes associated with the end of pregnancy and possibly breastfeeding, and lack of sleep as the baby relies on its mother for 24/7 care.
This is why preparing for the fourth trimester is just as important, if not even more so than making a birth plan.
What to Expect In The Fourth Trimester
The fourth trimester is loaded with change. Body changes, emotional changes, changes within your relationship, lifestyle changes, and more.
Here are a few examples:
Relationship changes: You and your partner may face some dynamic changes as new parents. The time you once had to go out and do whatever you wanted may not be the same. The expectations you once had for one another may now be changed. The leisures you both enjoyed, may not be your top priority anymore. Despite these changes within your relationship, you can still set yourselves up to not lose one another amidst this adjustment.
Body changes: Between a uterus recovering from pregnancy & birth, breasts filling up with milk, and hormones causing a slew of changes like hair loss and skin changes — it’s no walk in the park postpartum. These can be very overwhelming for some mothers as it all seems to happen so fast.
Emotional changes: If you have a history of mental health concerns, you may find yourself experiencing a postpartum mood or anxiety disorder. Even if you have no history at all, you could still be experiencing emotions that surpass the baby blues.
These are just a few of the changes a mother, well, parents can experience in the early postpartum days.
It’s not about knowing every little detail, but about having a general idea that changes will happen and you can be prepared to shift, adjust, and have a plan to help manage those challenges without letting them overcome you.
Preparing for The Fourth Trimester: 12 Tips for New Moms
Now that you know the importance of putting in some time to prepare for life after birth, let’s get right into these postpartum tips for new moms.
1) Understand Your Postpartum Mental Health
You have probably read a story or seen a social media post about postpartum depression. You’ve scratched the surface of what it looks like for someone else.
However, you have no clue what it could look like for you. You might not even realize whether or not you’re more predisposed to experience it based on your mental health history.
This is why it’s crucial to learn about postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) so that you or your support system can recognize the signs before they get out of control and help you seek out the help you need.
2) Have Recovery Supplies Stocked
Realistically, you’ll never be able to ensure you have every single recovery item for birth on hand. Why? Because many times, labor and delivery don’t go as planned.
But by keeping the basics on hand, you can at least be prepared for common postpartum symptoms, such as:
- Vaginal bleeding (lochia)
- Sore perineum
- Urinary incontinence
- Abdominal cramps
- Hemorrhoids
- Constipation
- Engorged breasts
- Clogged milk ducts (this is my favorite remedy for clogged ducts)
So…why type of supplies should a postpartum mom plan to keep on hand?
- Perineal ice pack (don’t want to buy one? make your own DIY perineal pack just by following these easy instructions)
As long as you have these, you’ll be off to a great start.
3) Decide on your Visitor Policy
A lot of first-time moms experience stress around the topic of visitors. Some simply want a little privacy during such personal time while others have family members that tend to push boundaries.
Regardless of what you plan to do, make sure you and your partner discuss your visitor policy during pregnancy.
Here are some conversational topics to consider:
- Do you or your partner want visitors after birth? What about if your baby is in the NICU?
- Who will be allowed to visit after birth? Who will not?
- What rules must your visitors follow when visiting mom and baby? (these might help)
Once you and your partner decide on the visiting rules for your new baby, make sure you let your friends and family know as soon as possible.
4) Create a Game Plan
Creating a game plan or a postpartum care plan is an awesome way to prepare yourself for not only the recovery period that follows after birth but also for all the changes accompanying your new life.
The hard part about creating a plan is knowing what to expect and what things you need in order. That’s why I put together a 5-day postpartum preparation email series! It’s a great resource for new moms and parents to be.
And duh, it’s totally free. Just sign-up right here and your first day of postpartum preparation will be on its way to your inbox.
5) Discuss Boundaries & Values with Your Partner
Some new parents prefer to breastfeed their baby, which means mom will be up in the middle of the night either pumping or nursing their baby. If having an actively supportive partner is a strong value of yours, you may want to discuss ways they can help during those late-night wake-ups before baby arrives.
One thing my husband and I did (that was really helpful in the 4th trimester) was we talked about the goals I had to breastfeed my son. He was very supportive of them and we agreed since I’d be waking up around the clock to nurse or pump, he would do the diaper changes during the late-night hours.
He also took on certain chores at home when I was nursing my son and recovering from birth. He even came with me to our lactation consultant appointments. It was so helpful and made me feel incredibly supported.
4) Have a Strong Support System
Speaking of support, it’s important you have a strong support system as you’re journeying through this new role as a mother while also trying to survive the postpartum recovery period.
Newborn babies require a lot of patience, grace, and of course, love. All things we willingly shower them with, yet we don’t offer them to ourselves. Instead, we expect ourselves to effortlessly take on the birth of a baby as if there’s no adjustment needed.
That’s where a support network comes in. Oftentimes, people assume their friends and family members will just come throwing themselves to help first time parents with their newborn baby, however, this isn’t always the case. In fact, it’s probably more uncommon than common.
The thing we fail to remember is that our support system can also include childbirth educators, professional help, postpartum doulas, housekeepers, and more!
6) Prepare Meals In Advance
If you hate cooking as I do, this will be such a life-saving hack. Let’s be real, even if you enjoy cooking, you’re not going to want to spend every minute in the kitchen when you’re focused on your physical recovery after birth and also trying to get this whole mom role down.
So, prepare your postpartum meals well in advance. I’m talking if your due date is 2 weeks away? Figure out which meals you’d enjoy most and prepare them no later than the 2-week window from your due date. If you need some ideas, check out these easy to prep postpartum meals & recipes.
7) Stock up on Baby’s Essentials
If there’s one thing new mothers should have checked off their list in the third trimester, it’s stocking up on baby’s essentials. So, what kind of essential items does a newborn baby need?
- 5-10 newborn/0-3-month-old onesies
- 5-10 newborn/0-3-month-old pants or footies
- 2-4 newborn/0-3-month-old baby hats
- 3-4 baby swaddles
- baby diapers
- baby wipes
- diaper rash cream
- slow-flow baby bottle nipples
- 4oz baby bottles (these ones were my favorite since I nursed and pumped milk for my baby)
- bulb syringe
- baby thermometer
- first aid kit
- baby carrier/ring sling
Of course, this is a rough list, but if you have all the items on this list, you will be going into the early weeks of parenting 10 steps ahead of the rest.
8) Try to Remember You’re Not Alone
It’s pretty common for postpartum women to feel lonely and isolated throughout this period of time. However, trust me when I say, you’re not alone.
No matter how many months postpartum you are, there is always another mom out there going through similar challenges. So, how can you find a community that fosters connection and friendship to make motherhood a little less lonely?
Try joining an online group! This can be a great way to make some mom friends, meet moms with babies the same age, schedule some local meetups, and more! You can join my online community of moms right here or hop on the Peanut app to start your mom-friend matchmaking today!
9) Lower Expectations
One thing that sets so many moms up for failure as she’s adjusting to their new normal is false expectations. They expect that their sleep won’t be as bad and that they’ll be able to handle it when suddenly they’re faced with sleep deprivation.
Or that once they give birth their bodies will lose all the baby weight just to realize it’s been a few months and their postpartum body still looks different than what they expected.
These high, unrealistic expectations lead us to feel frustrated, defeated, and truthfully — they’re wearing us all thin.
Moms, please don’t think that by lowering your expectations you’re lowering your standards. It’s time we put our mental health at the front of the line and stop letting the pressure of society and the rest of the world shape us into thinking we have to do all the things, all the time, all alone.
11) Keep Uplifting Affirmations Close By
There will be days in motherhood, especially in the first week or so when you find yourself asking “what did I get myself into?”.
Rest assured, it’s normal to have those days where you feel defeated. However, it’s also important to not let those thoughts define your motherhood journey.
If you find yourself feeling like you’re having more negative thoughts than positive, try reframing them with some positive affirmations.
You can get yourself a deck of cards like these that you keep on your nightstand to read every morning and night. You can get yourself a journal that has affirmations throughout.
No matter how you choose to use them, they can be a positive way to influence the day (yes, even the tough days).
12) Look Into Hiring a Postpartum Doula
As we briefly talked about earlier, hiring a postpartum doula can bring a wealth of support to a new mother. Unlike a birth doula, postpartum doulas provide new families with support around caring for their infant and supporting the mom throughout her recovery.
Some doulas offer night support where they will stay in your home overnight to tend to your baby so that mom can rest and recover from childbirth.
The price to hire a doula can range depending on your location and what type of support you’re looking for. In addition, doulas should not get mixed up with a housekeeper or nanny.
Though some doulas will offer light housework or meal preparation as part of their package, their primary job responsibility is to support the mother, baby, and family, not be a babysitter for other children or clean your entire home.
If you’d rather have a housecleaner come and upkeep the household duties and chores, hiring a housekeeper would be a great solution.
Preparing for the fourth trimester can sound like a lot of work, but really it’s the same concept you’d use when preparing for childbirth. Simply learn about the changes you might be facing and have a plan to support those changes or challenges if and when needed. You got this mama.
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