The Most Helpful Postpartum Tips For Dads
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Are you wondering what the “fourth trimester” looks like for new dads? Maybe you’re asking yourself, “Can dads go through their own version of postpartum depression, or is that something only new moms experience?” You’re in the right place to learn some of the best postpartum tips for dads to help them thrive during this challenging yet rewarding time.
Believe it or not, the postpartum period can be just as much of a roller coaster for dads as it is for new mothers. In fact, research shows that 7% and 9% of new fathers develop postpartum depression.
And if the birthing parent is dealing with perinatal depression or anxiety disorders, that statistic can jump up to 50% according to Healthy Children. So if you’re struggling, you’re not alone—it’s more common than you might think.
Between a lot of research and some insights from my amazing husband, here’s how new dads can navigate life after the birth of a baby and find joy in their new role.
This post may contain affiliate links from which I receive a commission if you click or make a purchase. In addition, the information on this site is NOT intended to be medical advice. Please seek professional medical care if needed. See my full policy for more information.
What is the Postpartum Stage/Fourth Trimester?
The “fourth trimester” refers to the first 12 weeks after welcoming a new baby. This period is filled with major life changes as both new parents adjust to life with a newborn.
For new dads, it’s a time to bond, learn, grow, and most importantly—survive those long sleepless nights.
The Role of New Fathers After Childbirth
There’s a huge misconception that dads have to be the breadwinners of the household. Though it’s probably more common, it isn’t always how the story plays out.
The best way to support your family isn’t just through work—it’s about being actively involved at home too. The early days after your baby’s birth are a good time to bond with your little one, support your partner, and establish a new normal together.
Sure, new moms may handle most of the feedings, especially if breastfeeding, but there are still plenty of ways dads can jump in and help. From diaper changes to bottle feeding, your involvement can go a long way in forming a strong bond with your new child and easing the pressure on your partner.
The key here is to be just as involved in creating your new normal of parenting with your partner together — as one unit.
How New Dads Can Support New Moms After Birth
It’s true, mom will be going through a much different recovery after birth than dad.
In fact, during those early days, she will probably need more support than usual, so here’s how dads can help:
- Offer practical support: Cook meals, handle household chores and ensure mom stays hydrated (even if it’s just bringing her a glass of water). These small gestures can make a big difference.
- Take on baby duty: Handle late-night feedings, change diapers, and spend quality time with your baby. Skin contact, like babywearing with a cozy baby wrap, is a great way to build that bond while giving your partner some much-needed rest.
- Support her feeding journey: Wash her breast pump parts, place her pumped milk in the freezer, and remind her to charge her pump (if it’s rechargeable).
- Listen without judgment: Be the supportive ear she needs. The early days can be emotionally overwhelming, so being there as a trusted friend can help lower stress levels.
- Encourage self-care: Allow her to take breaks. Whether it’s a quiet time alone or a nap, giving her space to recharge will benefit the whole family.
Postpartum Tips for Dad:
1. Increase your empathy
Your partner’s body is recovering from the birth of your baby, both mentally and physically. Yes, the postpartum period is a major adjustment for both parents, but new mothers often need a bit of extra emotional support.
Remember to show empathy for her needs while navigating your own struggles. A little empathy can go a long way in reducing stress levels for the whole family.
As my husband will say, “Your wife is recovering from birth both mentally and physically. Yes, it’s an adjustment for both parents, but in those early days she will need you to have a little extra empathy for her.“
And trust me, there isn’t a single person postpartum that can’t benefit from a little extra empathy.
As dads show their care and concern for their partners after birth, I hope moms can share a little empathy with dad and their transition into this new journey of fatherhood.
2. Prioritize your needs too
It’s easy for new parents to neglect their own self-care, but this can lead to burnout. Make it a priority to get enough sleep, eat healthy food, and find some quiet time for yourself.
Having kids can make it so easy to forget about your own basic needs as a human beings. It’s no wonder moms joke about never getting a shower — we fail to prioritize our simple needs after kids!
Even grabbing a quick shower or a glass of water can make a big difference. Open communication with your partner about your needs will help you both support each other during this time.
As for dads, those needs could be different.
Maybe dad enjoys golfing once a month. While it’s realistic to expect him to slow his roll during these early days, asking him to give up his one favorite hobby forever could be a huge deal for him.
As for prioritizing your needs, keep that door of communication OPEN with your partner. Express what kind of needs you need to be fulfilled and work together to make a plan so they can be met.
3. Be willing to take the back seat
This is a HUGE one. It’s not a small ask either — to be willing to take the back seat for a little while.
That means if mom normally does all the cooking, don’t expect any fresh cooked meals from her any time soon.
If mom normally does all the laundry, don’t come down on her if it hasn’t been done.
If you enjoy having sex multiple times a week, definitely do NOT expect her to be in the mood at all (especially right after birth — she needs time to physically heal anyway).
Taking the back seat is a major life adjustment. It’s a lot to ask of anyone, but in the early days of postpartum, they’re crucial acts.
4. Have an outlet
Taking on the new role of dad is a major life change, and it’s important to have an outlet to relieve stress. Whether it’s a bit of exercise, playing a sport, or catching up with a close friend, having an outlet will help keep your stress levels in check.
Regular exercise, in particular, can boost your mood and overall well-being.
A hobby, sport, or anything that helps him refill his cup throughout the fourth trimester.
5. Carve Out Quality Time with Baby
Bonding with baby seems to come much less natural for dads. This can make it easier to let mom do all the baby care tasks such as feedings, diaper changes, tummy time, burping, and more!
However, spending quality time with your newborn is so important for new dads.
Whether it’s cuddling, reading a book, or engaging in skin to skin time, these small moments are the best way to strengthen your bond.
Don’t be afraid to explore baby’s cues and develop your own routines—fatherhood is a learning journey!
6. Learn how to swaddle
Ok, ok, you technically don’t need to learn how to swaddle if you use one of these baby swaddles (and you should, because they’ll save you SO much time).
Learning how to swaddle your baby with just a simple swaddle blanket can be a lifesaver because almost all babies love the feeling of being snuggled up outside of the womb.
You can get baby snug and ready for sleep, calm them down if they’re fussy, and the list goes on and on.
7. Lean Into Your New Parenting Instincts
Dad may feel like because he isn’t the primary caregiver (in some instances) that mom knows best.
As a stay-at-home mom who is the primary caretaker, I tend to feel like I do normally have a better sense of what’s “regular” vs. “irregular” for our boys, BUT that doesn’t mean my husband’s intuitions should ever be ignored either.
It’s important moms encourage their partners to trust their instincts, and that they support them as well. Dads, I encourage you to build that bond with your little one so you can also build a strong sense of intuition about them.
8. Don’t Be Afraid to Set Boundaries With Friends or Family
There are two common scenarios that dads end up stuck between after having a child:
- Having to keep the peace between their mother and partner, because mom keeps giving unsolicited advice and their partner is, well, tired of it.
- Trying to keep the balance between not having enough time to go out with their friends so often vs. spending time being a father.
Once your baby is born, life changes. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a life outside of fatherhood or that you have to cut everyone out of your life, but you should start to practice setting healthy boundaries with those you love.
Setting boundaries with well-meaning family members can be tough, but it’s necessary for your peace of mind. Whether it’s limiting visits in the early days or kindly declining unsolicited advice, open communication can help protect your family’s time and space.
9. Read a Baby Book or Two
It can be easy for dad to feel like he has no idea what to do with baby when they’re just…hangnin’ out!
One of my husband’s favorite activities was reading to our boys! As they got older, it became a staple in our bedtime routine. And eventually, we got to watch them learn how to point at images and turn the pages on their own.
This was the book that started it all, maybe your little one will love it too!
10. Lean on Trusted Resources
Yes, there will be times dad may need to ask for help too.
I don’t know what it is about parenting that makes us want to power through all the challenges but hear me now – it is 100% ok to ask for help when needed.
There are plenty of resources available to help new dads adjust. Consider reading books on newborn care, joining online support groups, or seeking advice from healthcare providers.
Educating yourself will empower you to be an active role in your baby’s life.
11. Be Prepared for Paternal Postpartum Depression
Yes, dads can experience perinatal mental health disorders too, including symptoms of postpartum depression. If you notice feelings of sadness, anxiety, or lack of interest in activities, it’s important to seek medical advice.
Most of us go into parenthood with the “it can’t happen to me” mentality, but reality will shake things up real fast as a reminder that it can.
Remember, your emotional health is just as important as your partner’s, so if something is off, tell them and get some help. Postpartum Support International is an incredible resource for parental mental health.
12. Take Parental Leave If You Can
If your workplace offers parental leave, taking time off can be incredibly beneficial for both you and your partner. It’s a great way to be fully present during those precious first weeks, help with baby care, and support your partner during her recovery.
13. Celebrate the Wins
Lastly, give yourself credit for all that you’re doing. Whether it’s mastering diaper duty, soothing your baby during late-night cries, or simply being there for your partner, you’re doing a great job.
Fatherhood is hard work, but every effort counts. Celebrate the little wins, and know that you’re making a difference.
Adjusting to life with a new baby is no small feat, especially for first-time dads. But with a bit of empathy, open communication, and a willingness to take on your fair share of baby care, you’ll find your rhythm in this new role.
As my husband always says, “it’s not an easy job, but it’s the best one I’ll ever have”.
Remember, you’re doing a great job, and hopefully the tips above can help support you through this new stage of fatherhood!
Looking for more support through the fourth trimester?
