Baby’s First Nights Home: Survival Tips for New Parents

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You just gave birth and you’re getting ready to bring your baby home. You have all these questions racing through your mind. Wondering, “were you really made to care for a newborn baby?”. Yes, mama, you were made for it, but that doesn’t make the adjustment any less scary. What can, is these survival tips for baby’s first nights home.

My baby’s first nights home was the best and most nerve-wracking time of my life. He spent a few nights in the NICU, so even more so I was paranoid about everything. Was I giving him a bath too soon? Did I put his diaper on too tight? Was I offering him breast milk often enough? I had SO MANY QUESTIONS as a new mom.

The thing I want to remind you of is that asking these questions doesn’t make you a bad mom. It doesn’t mean you’re not fit for the job. In fact, it just shows how loving and concerned of a mother you are for your baby.

To ease the burden of these questions eating away at you at 2 am (because they will), I want to share what you can expect and how to survive during baby’s first nights home.

What to Expect During Baby’s First Nights Home

Newborn babies sleep a lot (but you don’t)

Yes, it’s normal for your newborn baby to sleep 16 to 18 hours a day. The downside? They don’t sleep in long stretches. That means you can expect to be up attending to baby every 1-3 hours during those first few days at home.

To ease the sleep deprivation from setting in so suddenly, you can practice trying to nap when your baby naps. I know co-sleeping and breast sleeping is a controversial topic, but I always found napping next to my baby in the early days (while my little one was safely nuzzled in his nursing-friendly bassinet right next to me) helped me get extra sleep throughout the day.

Breastfeeding hurts

During those early days, you may find your baby is still slowly learning how to master their latching technique. Meanwhile, you’re also learning how to master the various breastfeeding positions to get comfortable while feeding your baby.

To make sure you’re fully equipped to handle the challenges of breastfeeding, I suggest taking a breastfeeding class like this one before your baby is born or during the early days after birth. This breastfeeding class can help you understand the normalities and abnormalities when it comes to nursing or pumping for your baby. It also goes into so much depth about breast milk production and many more crucial points to support mothers on a successful breastfeeding journey.

You’ll feel mentally overwhelmed

That first week of motherhood (and the early months to come) can feel very overwhelming. As a new mom, you’re taking on things like round-the-clock feeding, diapering, doctor appointments, physically and emotionally recovering from birth, adjusting to a new role in life, and much more.

This is your reminder to know it’s normal to feel like you can’t do it all. It’s normal to need a good cry to process these feelings. And it’s normal to need a few hours to yourself so you can reconnect with the person you were and still are before your baby was born.

If you’re finding these overwhelming days are eating away at your everyday life, I’d encourage you to look into the Visible Motherhood Workbook. This workbook was created by a licensed clinical psychologist and perinatal mental health professional to help women understand their mental health as a mother so that they feel understood, seen, and confident.

Tips to Survive Baby’s First Nights Home

ACCEPT HELP with your new baby

This help could come from your husband, parents, grandparents, anyone!

Let people help you!

I’m guilty of this because I personally enjoy my space on my own, but sometimes it’s ok to let someone else offer to do the dishes or laundry. Seriously.

If your mom or mom friend offers to help, it’s likely because they’ve been in your shoes before and chances are, they’re truly just trying to help!

To make it easier, make a list of tasks you wouldn’t mind visitors tackling for you while they’re there! That way you can continue to do the things that make you comfortable, while still having help around the home.

PREPARE & FREEZE Your Meals BEFORE baby is born

One thing I did not do (and I wish I did) was prepare some meals for my husband and I.

Granted, my husband got 6 weeks off for paternity leave and did all the cooking, but having some already prepared refrigerated/frozen meals would have been helpful.

This is especially helpful when you’re pumping/breastfeeding – sometimes we need easy healthy meals that can be popped in the microwave and good to go.

DON’T feel pressured to accept all visitors

Contrary to accepting some much-needed help, having visitors that just want to smoother you and baby with love (though they mean well) can be more stressful than relaxing.

Trust me, I didn’t want ANYONE around for at least a week. I just felt so overwhelmed, exhausted and not ready to be around people. It’s normal mama.

Don’t feel bad saying “No” or “Sorry let’s try a different time”.

Chances are, they’ll understand, and you’ll get some much-needed rest by skipping the social gathering.

If you’re not comfortable setting these boundaries, talk to your partner and ask them to do the dirty work.

One way or another, if you’re not ready for visitors, someone needs to spill the beans and make it known!

DON’T rush into the “bouncing back” right away scheme.

Whether you had a vaginal delivery or a C-Section – ain’t nobody bouncing back that quick.

Life with a new baby takes time to adjust, trust me those little people will throw more curveballs at you in one week then a lifetime of baseball.

Pair that with your own physical recovery – just do you. Relax, recover, and care for your little babe.

Once you’re ready, I have a TON of resources and posts on this blog to help you get back into fitness, but ONLY when you’re recovered & ready!

And if you feel like you’re ready, but not sure exactly HOW or WHAT to do, I’d highly suggest checking out the Mutu System – a workout that can be done from home specifically for postpartum moms!

Expect your emotions after birth to feel a bit, off.

Birth is a wild journey. You go from overwhelmingly happy to anxious, angry, sad and then happy again. Hormones, right?

Seriously though, your hormones are causing a LOT of changes in your body and your emotions during this time. So much that it’s pretty common to go through the baby blues, and sometimes progress into a more serious condition called Postpartum Depression.

If you think you have postpartum depression and feel like you could use some help, it’s important you discuss this with your medical provider right away.

If you’re not comfortable discussing with them, you can also find additional help and resources from the Postpartum Health Alliance.

Understand your relationship after baby might take a step back.

During that first week with your new baby, you’ll probably feel a bit distant from your partner. Not because you want to, in fact, you might even be seeing them more often as they help with the new baby needs!

However, when you pair practically no sleep with a baby who relies on you for their day to day living needs, somethings gotta give somewhere. It usually tends to be the relationship.

But I don’t want you to lose hope. I don’t want you to feel like this is the end.

As much as it’s important to acknowledge things could be rocky the first week or so, it’s also important to eventually set a plan in place to make sure your relationship doesn’t spiral down a bad path.

I’ll be honest, life after kids can really make things feel complicated. Especially if you’ve had unresolved issues before.

But if you and your partner are in it for the long haul and are truly committed, I know you’ll find ways to put one another as a priority and figure out a system that works for the two of you!

REMEMBER that you and your baby are both learning how to live in this new world.

There will be times you wish your baby could just ‘get it together’, but REMEMBER, they’re just trying to figure out how to live in this new world too.

A world where WE, their mamas, are here to guide, love, nurture, and help them adjust.

They spent 9 months (more or less) in your dark, quiet belly. Now they’re in this bright, loud, people-filled world!

When you think about it, it’s a lot to take in for a little baby still developing.

I had to remind myself of this often. Especially on the days I was running on less than 2 hours of sleep. I mean it felt like a dream at times.

What matters most, is that you’re in this together. Mama and baby.

When does the newborn stage get easier?

To be totally honest, I found that the one-month mark is when things started to feel easier as a first-time mom for me.

By one month your newborn usually starts sleeping a little bit more on a routine, they’re a lot more aware and less fussy, and you just feel a bit more confident in caring for them as a mama.

Other things to think about or that contribute to making the ‘newborn stage’ difficult could be:

• whether you breastfeed or bottle feed baby
• if baby has any underlying medical or health conditions
• a constant gassy or colicky baby
• baby wakes easily due to their startle reflex (moro reflex)
• if you’re stressed about returning to work soon

It’s also important to note that ‘EASY’ is a relative term that will be different for every single one of us!

Some key factors to remember for baby that may make life easier is when:

• Baby learns the difference between day and night sleep (allowing them to sleep longer stretches at a time at night)

• When their Moro reflex completely disappears (no need for tight swaddling anymore because baby won’t be so easily startled)

• When baby can support their own neck (this will allow you to move around and do things easier around the house without having to constantly hold baby like a fragile glass vase!)

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As you can see, your baby’s first nights home may feel a bit rocky, tiring, and overwhelming. With the tips above, you can help ease those worries and begin enjoying those early days with your little one before you know it!

Read more postpartum motherhood articles here:

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