10 Signs Your Child is Not Ready for Potty Training

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Potty training can be a challenge for both parents and children. While some children may be ready to begin potty training at a young age, others may need more time to develop the necessary skills. It’s important to recognize the signs your child is not ready for potty training to avoid any unnecessary frustration. In this article, we will discuss some common indicators that your child may not be ready for potty training and how to tell when they are.

I’m a mom of two. And when my first was nearing readiness to begin potty training, I can remember it like it was yesterday.

We read quite a few books that promised toilet training success in just 3 days. We received input from his preschool teacher that if we didn’t master potty training soon, he’d get too comfortable in his pull-ups and never learn.

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Now, let me paint some context so you can start to see why each child’s developmental process and signs of readiness are unique.

My 3.5-year-old (at the time) is autistic. He has quite a few sensory needs that differ from other children. He processes certain proprioception inputs differently. And most importantly — he does not like to feel any ounce of pressure to complete a task, it can easily dysregulate him.

So, when we took the approach of potty training in 3 days and completely ditching the pullups, it’s no surprise we ended up having a massive setback.

Thus, if you’re wanting the potty training process to be smooth and much more enjoyable with your child, pay close attention to these key signs that they may not be ready.

10 Signs your child is not ready for potty training

Your child has NO interest in using a potty/toilet.

If your child has no interest in using their toilet or potty, it doesn’t mean potty training is set up for failure. However, keep in mind, we want potty training to be a positive experience.

If you notice your child exhibiting fear or anxiety around the toilet or the process of going to the bathroom in their potty, it’s time to put on the brakes and slow down.

Spend time supporting them and understanding their fears. Practice learning about the potty and what makes it so fun! Heck, I know this method isn’t one for all, but invite them into the bathroom and casually chat about how you use the toilet.

Children are so curious, so try and tap into that curiosity.

Some more great ways are through books, below are some of my favorite no-pressure potty training books for kids:

They constantly have wet diapers.

If your child constantly has wet diapers and is ok waddling in around in them despite the fullness, they might need some more time before you begin potty training.

As kids get older and develop, they’ll develop more awareness around a soiled diaper. Often times pulling it off or vocalizing their need to get that dirty diaper off. This is a big step in being ready for potty training.

Once your child is beginning to show interest in getting their soiled diaper off, you’ll know it’s a good indication of being one step closer to potty training.

Your child is not aware of when he or she is actively going potty.

Somewhat in alignment with the last point, your child should be able to have awareness and control of when they are going to pee and poop.

And the reason these skills are important indicators of potty training readiness is that they’re all part of your child’s developmental process.

Now, we know a child’s development process is unique. No child will master the same skills as other on the exact same timeline, so if this skill is taking longer for your child to master, don’t freak out.

Note that if your child uses cloth diapers, you might find they become aware of their soiled diapers much quicker than using disposables.

This is because soiled fabric against their skin triggers a much different sensation than disposable diapers meant to keep them dry for long periods at a time.

Your child is not able to undress or dress themselves.

Your child will require the skills to dress and undress themselves. Now, ironically, many children don’t even master dressing and undressing until the ages of 4-5 years old.

Dressing and undressing require gross and fine motor skills and cognitive thinking skills.

In fact, my own child went to Occupational Therapy where we practiced some exercises to help strengthen his fine motor and gross motor skills. You can check out some of the activities we did below:

Dressing a teddy bear: Using a medium size teddy bear, practice having your child dress and undress their bear (shirt, pants, socks).

Bubble wrap pop: Get a sheet of bubble wrap to write the alphabet (one letter per bubble). Tape the bubble wrap on the wall and have your child practice popping each bubble with a single finger. This can help strengthen their fine motor skills.

Waistband: Use a few exercise bands like this. Have your child step into the middle of the band and practice pulling it up to their waist. Make it a fun game to see how many bands they can pull up to their waist!

They aren’t able to sit on the toilet.

If your child is physically unable to sit up on a toilet or potty seat — they could either be too young or have an underlying reason that’s preventing them from being able to sit up on the toilet independently.

If your child is struggling to sit down for longer periods of time, remember, these are big changes for them! Make them a little more fun by reading a story or listening to some music while on the potty.

The right time to focus on potty training will come along, but it may not be a good idea if this is an area your child is struggling with.

They actively express a fear or dislike of using the toilet.

Forcing a child to try and learn how to use a potty when they’re fearful or anxious is a recipe for a disaster. Plus, it’s just not a kind thing to do.

So, instead of making a big deal out of your child’s fear, get a little curious with them. Try to understand what is making them feel so afraid. And if you need to put the brakes on and revisit potty training another time, there’s no shame in that.

Potty training results in endless power struggles.

When you find the process of potty training constantly erupting in endless cycles of power struggles, your child may not be ready for potty training.

Remember, our job when potty training is to simply teach and guide our children through the process at their own pace.

image of a brown teddy bear sitting on a green potty training toilet in the bathroom next to a white toilet.

Your toddler is not going potty on a predictable schedule.

A child who isn’t ready for potty training will have more wet and soiled diapers than dry diapers.

And if your child isn’t going potty on a pretty predictable schedule (such as pooping in the morning after breakfast, or going potty after they wake up, for example) — then it could be another sign your little one’s bladder control needs some time to develop.

If we’re going to be expecting them to hold their potty for long periods of time (compared to wearing diapers), we really want to see a little bit more predictability to ensure they’re ready.

You’re putting a lot of pressure on your child to potty train.

I’ve said it before, but your potty training journey should be as stress-free as possible.

Hence the importance of really paying attention to your child’s readiness:

Can they acknowledge & communicate when they need to potty (can they tell when they have a wet diaper)?
Is your child happy, calm, or excited to use a potty chair or toilet?
Does your child exhibit urinary and bowel control to some extent?
Can your child follow simple directions?
Does your child show interest in toilet use?
Is your child able to pull their pants up and down?

If your child is not showing these most common signs of readiness and you’re having to bribe them with a reward chart each day, they’re probably not ready.

Your child may have 1 or more developmental delays.

Developmental delays can definitely make potty training a little more challenging.

One, because a child’s development is unique to them on its own, but when you add in a delay, it can push back that average time frame making some parents feel confused as to when the right time is to potty train.

Two, children with developmental delays will require more patience, support, and encouragement.

In some cases, potty training will require the help of an expert (such as an occupational therapist, physical therapist, or a certified potty training consultant).

Potty Training Success Final Thoughts

If your child is not ready for potty training, rest assured, it’s ok. My first didn’t learn until he was almost 4 years old meanwhile my 2nd child is already showing interest just shy of being 3 years old.

The most important thing for successful potty training is your child’s readiness and your ability to lay off the pressure and keep things fun and exciting. If your child has frequent accidents in the beginning, it’s no big deal. Accidents happen, don’t turn it into a big deal and risk your child having a negative association with potty training.

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