Ways of kindly restricting visitors after birth

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If you’re a new mom, you might be wondering whether or not you should be restricting visitors after birth. We’ll break down all the reasons new parents should be setting boundaries around their visitation preferences and how to go about enforcing them in those early days.

I gave birth to my 2nd child back in 2020. The same year the COVID outbreak was running strong. We knew, because of the pandemic, we’d have to be a little more strict with our visitation preferences with our immediate family.

Unlike us, I’ve heard stories from so many new mothers who tell me they wished they restricted visitors after giving birth. They wished they had more time alone with their baby over letting family just show up to visit with their newborn baby.

The birth of your baby (especially the first time being a new mom) is a special moment. A great way to ensure your values as a new parent is being upheld is to keep reading the rest of this article to help you set some guidelines around the number of visitors you want after birth.

When should you allow visitors after birth?

When you allow visitors after birth (this could consist of family members, your best friend, a close friend of the family, etc…) it’s always a good idea to set some basic guidelines.

However, not all parents or mothers want visitors after giving birth. Meanwhile, some mothers love to be surrounded by their loved ones from the birthing process to postpartum recovery.

The best thing to do is discuss with your birth partner what their thoughts and values are surrounding childbirth and visitors. Then, share your opinion. The two of you can come up with a plan that consists of:

How many visitors (if any) you want after birth.

Who will be allowed to visit after birth.

When will visitors be asked to leave (if they aren’t catching the hints).

What boundaries do you have around these visitors during their visitation (ex. not wanting to talk about your birth experience, not allowing visitors to give unsolicited advice, etc…)

You’ll also need to consider your hospital or birthing center’s visitor policy. When I gave birth in 2020, we were not allowed to have any visitors come into the hospital due to the COVID policies. So many sure you get a breakdown of the visitor policy before telling anyone they can come see you after birth.

Prepare friends & family ahead of time that you will be restricting visitors after birth

It’s always important to prioritize your mental health as a mother, especially when you’re in a vulnerable period after just giving birth.

One of the best ways to avoid any hurt feelings or dealing with a lot of people being upset right before or after you’re about to be in labor is to share your visitor wishes with them ahead of time.

For example, you’re pregnant and all your mother-in-law keeps bringing up is how she can’t wait to hold your newborn after you give birth to him or her. Instead of surprising her at the last minute by not being able to visit, have the discussion early on in your pregnancy.

This will give you and your partner a chance to have the discussion early on while setting and holding the boundary that you really want to soak in those early days with your sweet baby. More often than not, supportive family members and friends will be understanding. Sure, they might be bummed out, but they won’t make it a problem for you.

Restricting out of town visitors after baby

If you have family members that love to travel or simply live far away and want to come to visit after birth, you are not inclined to say yes (unless you want to).

The easiest way to handle these kinds of guests is to kindly let them know that you’re doing your best to keep your newborn safe and away from any potential illness (which, unfortunately, can be common among those who travel often).

The majority of family and friends should be receptive and understanding. For those who aren’t, you can offer to do a facetime session or some kind of webcam with them. You’ll be able to introduce them to your new bundle of joy while adhering to your values and any hospital visitor policies in place.

Ways to interact with visitors after birth without being present

Whether you’ve opted on allowing visitors in those first days after labor or plan on restricting visitors after birth, there may be some guests who physically aren’t able to come and visit you in the delivery room or at home. So, what do you do?

Take advantage of social media

Many social media platforms have the ability for you to ‘start a live video’ or even share videos with your friends and followers. A simple way to keep your friends and family up to date with all the sweet new baby stuff is to share it with them online!

For instance, Instagram has an option for you to do a live video, post videos to your ‘Instagram story’, or send them directly to the people you choose. You can now even start a chat with specific followers too.

On Facebook, you can pretty much do the exact same thing If you find yourself worried about your child’s online safety, you can create a private account just for sharing and ONLY allowing your friends and family to see what you share.

And if social media, in general, is an absolute no for you, start a text thread! It’s literally the same thing except be prepared for a lot of notifications.

Use facetime to connect with your friends & family

If you and your friends and family have an iPhone, you can set up a FaceTime date so they can virtually meet your baby for the first time. The nice part about this is you don’t have to stress about having an organized home, being “put together”, or having any expectations at all.

Meeting a newborn baby is sweet, but it’s important for our friends and family to remember that the birth of the newest family member also equates to the birth of a new role, a mother.

If you find yourself struggling during this vulnerable time, a virtual visit might just be the perfect option for you and your family.

Mail a postcard

This may be a little more ‘old school’, but what better time than this to brighten someone’s day with a cute ‘WELCOME BABY’ postcard in their mailbox?

I’ve seen families get them custom-made postcards or even send out little custom personalized items for immediate family members on Shutterfly.

Now, this is a little too much for my style, but I can understand how exciting it is and why some families do it.

Restricting Visitors After Birth: What if They Have COVID-19?

The peak of the pandemic was a scary and stressful time for so many birth parents around the world. Worried they would have the virus, their partner would have it, or worst, their newborn baby.

Fortunately, restrictions aren’t nearly what they were two years ago, but that doesn’t mean you should risk your or your baby’s immune systems just to have a visitor over (unless you’re overly certain your visitor is not sick or showing any symptoms).

So if you want to have someone over for a quick visit and you’re certain they aren’t sick — go for it! If you want to have someone over, but there’s a chance they are sick or have COVID-19 — I’d personally reschedule.

It’s a big deal to welcome a new child. The fourth trimester is also a sensitive time for many moms — so much that some end up with postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression. Do your best to keep stress at bay, even if it means you won’t be accepting visitors after birth.

At the end of the day, what matters most is that your wishes and needs for your family dynamics are respected. If the thought of visitors stresses you out, you might want to plan on restricting visitors after birth. If it doesn’t, then enjoy that special time with your growing family!

How to say NO to Visitors After Giving Birth

2 Comments

Quianna Anderson says:

March 29, 2020 at 8:00 am

Awesome read! There’s so many soon to be mothers that can really relate to this. Wishing you well!

1. fitmommyKW says:
  
  March 29, 2020 at 8:29 pm
  
  I hope it helps! Thanks so much, you as well <3