How to Mentally Prepare for Labor (a guide for nervous moms)

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If you’re nervous about labor, you’re not doing anything wrong. It’s a scary thought for first time moms, the idea that your baby will soon be exiting your body. Trust me, I was freaked out at that idea too. However, there’s also something incredibly beautiful about the process when you think about it. So, I’m going to walk you through how to mentally prepare for labor, whether it’s your first or 5th delivery. By the end, you’ll be feeling those fears ease, and that “I’m about to birth a baby” confidence rise.

This article may contain affiliate links from which I receive a commission if you click or make a purchase. This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your healthcare provider regarding pregnancy, labor, childbirth, or postpartum care. See my full policy for more information.

What Mental Preparation for Labor Actually Means

When most people talk about how to mentally prepare for labor, they often picture birth affirmations, breathing techniques, or having a perfectly calm mindset. But mental preparation for childbirth goes much deeper than that.

At its core, the mental preparation helps you understand how your mind and body work together during childbirth. All while learning practical ways to support that connection. Especially when things feel intense or unfamiliar.

Labor isn’t just a physical process; it’s an entire nervous system experience. When your body feels safe and supported, it’s better able to do the work of childbirth. When fear, stress, or pressure take over, the nervous system can shift into protection mode. It may make labor feel harder and more overwhelming.

That’s why your mental health matters during labor just as much as physical preparation. Trust me, I didn’t spend NEARLY enough time mentally preparing for my first birth (which had a few complications by the way).

Feeling informed, emotionally supported, and having a flexible plan are all pieces that can help in creating the conditions for a positive birth experience. Whether you’re preparing for a hospital birth, a home birth, or a birth center setting, you’ll be ready.

Now, don’t get the mental preparation of childbirth confused with obsessing and controlling every outcome of your childbirth. Especially if you’re stuck on having a “perfect” birth story. While that would be ideal, you have to learn how to prepare for birth in a way that feels steady and realistic.

This way, when labor begins, including early labor, you’ll have tools to stay grounded even if things don’t go exactly as planned. You won’t panic, you won’t give up, you won’t doubt yourself (at least not for too long).

This mindset applies whether you’re hoping to prepare for a natural birth, considering different pain relief options, or simply wanting to walk into the delivery room feeling informed and supported by your healthcare provider.

Ultimately, mentally preparing for labor throughout pregnancy is about building trust in your body, trust in your support system, and trust that you can navigate childbirth in a way that keeps you and your baby safe.

Even when the path looks different than what you imagined.

Digital graphic for birth affirmation card download

Practical Ways to Mentally Prepare for Labor Before It Begins

One of the most helpful ways to prepare mentally for giving birth is to learn what to expect without overwhelming yourself.

Understanding the basics of childbirth, such as how labor typically unfolds, what early labor can feel like, and what happens in the delivery room, can reduce uncertainty and help your brain feel more grounded.

Childbirth education classes can be especially helpful here, as they often provide balanced, practical information. But, let’s dive further in.

Learning What to Expect (Without Overloading Yourself)

Balanced education around childbirth can reduce fear by making labor feel more familiar, and honestly, just by hearing other stories from other women, just like you.

This doesn’t mean memorizing every detail of childbirth or trying to predict exactly how your labor will unfold. Instead, it’s about learning enough to feel oriented. You can do this by:

Taking a childbirth education class: A great resource for expecting parents and their partners. Many classes also help bridge the gap between preparing for a hospital birth, a home birth, or a birth center experience by explaining how labor support can look across different settings.

Talk to another mom: Sometimes, the best information to ease your worries and build your knowledge can come from another mom who’s given birth before. While she won’t have all the answers, her experience is worth listening to and taking notes. Just be mindful that too many fear-based stories can increase anxiety rather than confidence.

Connect with a Birth Doula: Many birth doulas will offer a consultation to see if you’re a good fit for one another. If you have the means to hire one, they’ll be a wonderful resource for you. Plus, with a birth doula, you’ll have a dedicated support person by your side during labor and delivery.

Supporting Your Nervous System During Pregnancy

Because labor is such a nervous system–driven experience, supporting your nervous system during pregnancy can play a powerful role in how you feel during childbirth. Think of simple practices that help your body feel calm and safe. What comes up for you?

Breathing Exercises: These are one of the most accessible tools for birthing mothers. Slow, intentional breathing sends signals of safety to your nervous system, which can help reduce stress and support emotional regulation and pain. Depending on each stage of labor, there are different breathing techniques you can use (slow breathing, transitional breathing, expulsion breaths, and more).

Visualization: Another useful tool for moms. You can imagine yourself moving through labor with support, or picturing a calm environment where you feel cared for and protected.

Grounding techniques: A practical way to support your mental health as birth approaches. These might include focusing on physical sensations, spending time outdoors, listening to music that calms you, or creating daily moments of calm that remind your body it doesn’t need to stay in a heightened state of alert.

These practices don’t require perfection or consistency to be effective. With regular practice, they can help your body build familiarity with being in a calm state. Once labor begins, it’ll be one of the best tools you have.

Reframing Your Fear Into Confidence

Fear around childbirth is incredibly common, especially for first-time moms. As I mentioned earlier, I was terrified of the idea of giving birth as a new mom.

But, hear me out, rather than trying to eliminate that fear, we’ve got to focus on reframing that fear into confidence by letting go of the need for complete control. Labor is unpredictable by nature, and accepting that uncertainty can actually feel more empowering than resisting it.

In my case, I ended up having a couple of complications during birth from having a partial prerupture of membranes at 38 weeks, had to be induced, ending up with an infection due to the preruptured membranes, and then my poor sweet baby aspirated meconium after getting stuck in the birth canal for too long.

In that moment, I was physically and mentally defeated after pushing for hours and dealing with all that. I was full of fear that I’d never get to meet my baby boy (who is healthy and happy as a clam by the way). I always wish I could go back and whisper in my ear, “It’s going to be ok…trust your support team and believe in yourself and their guidance.”

That said, Flexibility Is One Of The Strongest Tools You Can Bring Into Labor.

That means understanding that your plans may change whether that involves pain relief, the pace of labor, or how your birth unfolds… all without viewing those changes as failures as I did.

Labor is one of the hardest and most rewarding things you’ll ever do in your life. So get comfortable trusting that you can make informed decisions in the moment.

Trust the support from your healthcare provider and support team (whether it’s your partner, a doula, your mom, whoever you brought to support you).

This confident mindset is the building block for a strong foundation for a positive birth experience.

Natural Ways to Prepare Your Body for Labor (That Also Support Your Mind)

When you think about preparing your body for labor, it’s easy to imagine rigid routines, prenatal workouts, or feeling like you should be “doing more.” In reality, many natural ways to prepare your body for labor are gentle, flexible, and meant to support you, not overwhelm you.

Physical preparation is also deeply connected to mental preparation for birth. When your body feels strong, capable, and supported, it can help calm your nervous system and reduce tension as childbirth approaches.

Gentle Movement and Body Awareness

One of the simplest ways to prepare your body for labor is through gentle, consistent movement. Walking, stretching, and slow mobility work can help your body stay flexible and comfortable without adding stress.

These types of movements support circulation, encourage relaxation, and help you tune into how your body feels on a regular basis, something that becomes invaluable during early labor.

During pregnancy, you’ll likely experience a variety of pains and discomfort (lightning crotch, sciatica pain, contractions, and even pelvic pain). And what happens when you’re in pain? You adjust your body to find a better position or support to alleviate that discomfort. This basic intuition will come in crucial during childbirth.

For example, with my first pregnancy, I experienced a lot of pelvic pain towards the end, and one of the only remedies that helped was sitting in a warm bath. I wish I had trusted my instincts enough during labor to request a bath or at least sit under some warm water, but you live and learn and write an article like this to help another mom not make the same mistake.

Using Simple Birth Tools to Support Labor Preparation

Some tools can make physical preparation feel more approachable and intuitive. A birthing ball, for example, is often used to encourage gentle movement, support pelvic mobility, and promote comfort during pregnancy.

Spending time sitting, rocking, or gently moving on a birthing ball can help your body feel more familiar with positions that may be helpful during labor, especially if you’re hoping to prepare for a natural birth.

Here are a few ways you can use these tools:

Birthing Ball: Kneeling or leaning with your hands flat on the ball and your belly facing down can help alleviate back pain. Sitting and rocking can help open up your pelvis and relieve pressure down there.

Perineal Massages: I generally prefer these under the guidance of a pelvic floor specialist, but perineal massages during pregnancy have been shown to reduce perineal trauma (tearing/episiotomies). You can use your hand or use a perineal massaging wand like this.

Hot/Cold Packs: These can help during labor by providing a soothing distraction from pain and helping to relax any tense muscles.

Birthing Comb: This tool is an acupressure tool that you squeeze in the palm of your hand, used to help override pain signals from contractions.

Portable Fan: Some moms will experience hot flashes or feel a sensation of being hot during labor (it is hard work after all), so having a portable little fan nearby can be helpful to cool you off so you can be comfortable when you’re feeling too warm.

How to Mentally Prepare for Early Labor

If you think you might be going into early labor, the first thing you should ALWAYS do is contact your healthcare provider or birthing team.

Early labor can bring a mix of excitement, uncertainty, and nerves, especially if you’re not sure whether labor is really starting or not. Mentally preparing for early labor begins with learning the common signs that labor may be approaching, such as:

regular contractions
increased pelvic pressure or pain
lower back discomfort
changes in energy
sudden onset of diarrhea or loose stools
consistent contractions following the loss of your mucus plug
a general sense that something feels different

Having this awareness of your body can help you take action quickly and help you stay calm and avoid second-guessing yourself when early labor begins. This will be key in advocating for yourself and the care you need, too.

Practicing pain relief strategies before labor gets too intense can also make a big difference during early labor and on your way to the hospital. Breathing techniques, gentle movement, visualization, or focusing on calming music can help support your nervous system and keep tension from escalating during an already worrisome time.

Preparing for Different Birth Settings (Without Overthinking It)

No matter where you plan to give birth, all the mental preparation work you’ve been doing plays a key role in helping you feel confident in the location and process. While hospital births, home births, and birth center experiences can look different on the surface, the foundation of mental preparation is the same: feeling informed and supported in your choices.

Preparing for a Hospital Birth

Preparing for a hospital birth often includes thinking about the delivery room environment, medical staff, and procedures, all of which can feel intimidating if you’re not sure what to expect.

This is why one of my favorite preparation methods is to physically go into the hospital and request a birth tour. Many of them will schedule you for one regardless, but if not, you can always request it.

This is where you’ll take a tour of the hospital, so you’ll see everything from where to park when you arrive, where to check in, what the labor & delivery ward, plus recovery rooms look like, and what the go-home process is as well.

Hospitals can sometimes just feel overwhelming and intimidating, but remind yourself that you’re allowed to ask questions, request explanations, and take a moment before making decisions whenever possible during the big day.

Sometimes, talking through your preferences with your healthcare provider ahead of time can help you feel more supported and less caught off guard during labor. While flexibility is essential, knowing that your provider understands your values and goals can ease anxiety and help you feel more confident navigating changes if they arise.

Preparing for a Home Birth or Birth Center

Preparing for a home birth or birth center experience often centers on trust, trust in your body, your support team, and the natural process of childbirth. Mental preparation in these settings includes building confidence in your body’s ability to labor and reminding yourself that calm, familiar environments can support relaxation and focus.

Creating a peaceful atmosphere at home can also play a role in mental readiness. This is something your birth team will assist in setting up, but it may include soft lighting, familiar sounds, or quiet reassurance from trusted support people you choose to have with you.

Yes, strong support systems are especially important when preparing for a home birth or birth center birth. It’s a mental journey that’ll require a lot of focus, reassurance, and overall confidence in yourself.

Whether that support comes from a partner, doula, or midwife, knowing who will be present and how they’ll support you can provide reassurance and stability throughout labor.

If you’ll be giving birth at a birth center, you will also have an opportunity to tour the location, ask questions, and plan ahead how you’d like your room set up so that the ambiance can support a calm and relaxing experience when it’s time for labor.

Reliable Pain Relief and Coping Strategies During Labor

Pain relief during labor looks different for everyone, and mental preparation plays a powerful role in how those sensations are experienced. In childbirth, pain relief methods aren’t necessarily aimed to fully eliminate your pain, but to equip you with many coping strategies to minimize the pain so you can confidently move through the childbirth process.

One of the most helpful things to remember is that you don’t need to decide everything about pain relief ahead of time. This means if you’re unsure about wanting an epidural, don’t stress over making that decision when you’re 25 weeks pregnant.

Instead, pay attention and learn about the different methods of pain control, and then make an informed decision when the time comes. However, most moms who choose to forego medicated births will have an idea they don’t want intervention early enough to start preparing for other pain relief options ahead of time.

So, let’s talk about some of the pain relief and coping strategies during labor:

Breathing (as we talked about earlier) is one of the most widely used coping strategies during labor because it directly supports your nervous system. Slow, intentional breaths can help reduce tension, prevent panic, and create a sense of rhythm during contractions. Practicing breathing techniques during pregnancy, even casually, can make them feel more familiar and accessible when you need them most.

Movement and position changes are another great method of pain relief during labor. Walking, swaying, rocking, or shifting positions can help your body respond intuitively to labor sensations while alleviating some pains or pressure. Even small movements can help you stay grounded and connected to your body, so don’t underestimate their power.

Visualization is another coping technique used by many moms during labor. It works great to focus on a calming image or phrase, and remind yourself that your pain/contractions come in waves, which means you can ride the wave, and get relief. Many moms find it helpful to return to the idea that contractions have a beginning, middle, and end, each one bringing them closer to meeting their baby.

Epidurals are one of the most common pain relief methods during childbirth. If you opt to get one, it doesn’t lessen your experience or journey of childbirth. The epidural is placed via a thin catheter into your lower back (the epidural space). One thing some moms don’t like is that once you have an epidural, you’ll likely be stuck in your hospital bed, as it’s not considered safe to be walking around with it. If you prefer to move around, you may want to consider other pain control options.

Nitrous Oxide, aka “laughing gas,” is another option to help moms cope with labor pains. It doesn’t eliminate the pain, but instead reduces anxiety and increases a feeling of well-being.

Opioids are another option for moms who don’t want an epidural, but do want something strong enough to help them cope with contraction pains. You should discuss these options with your OBGYN and educate yourself on the options, as many aren’t administered within the hour before delivery.

Hydrotherapy is a popular choice for low-risk pregnant moms who don’t use medication for pain relief. The sensation of water can help to soothe the body, easing you through pain and contractions, while getting into a tub of warm water can also utilize the help of gravity to alleviate any labor pains and discomfort.

Remember, whatever pain relief methods you choose, whether that’s natural coping tools, medical options, or a combination of both, is not a failure. Permit yourself to respond to labor in the way that feels safest and most supportive in the moment for you. Support from your healthcare provider and birth team can help guide those decisions with clarity and reassurance, especially if there are any risks involved in your delivery.

For instance, with my first, I mentioned I had PROM and developed an infection during my labor and delivery journey. Because of this, I had to be hooked up to monitors for myself and my baby. I was also on multiple antibiotic infusions, so my ability to move around and utilize the more natural methods was no longer an option for me.

What I learned was that coping during labor isn’t about endurance or being able to ‘tough it out’. It’s about emotionally safe as your body does this wild, beautiful, and meaningful work.

So, my best advice when approaching pain relief is to do it with curiosity rather than pressure. This is YOUR decision to make, mama.

How Mental Preparation for Labor Supports Postpartum Recovery

The mental preparation for labor doesn’t end once your baby is born. This mindset you build during pregnancy often carries with you into the postpartum period, shaping how you process your birth, how you care for yourself emotionally, and how supported you feel during recovery.

It will help you be flexible in those moments that feel out of your control, it’ll help you advocate for the postpartum care you deserve, and it’ll help you be much more present in the postpartum journey.

If you’d like more tips to best support your postpartum experience, check out these reads below:

How to Mentally Prepare for Labor, Final Thoughts

Getting ready for childbirth doesn’t mean having every detail planned. It also doesn’t mean feeling calm all of the time. It means learning how to prepare your body for labor, supporting your mental health, and permitting yourself to move through labor in a way that feels right for you and your baby.

Whether you’re preparing for labor and delivery in a hospital or preparing for homebirth, the mental preparation helps you stay grounded when things feel uncertain (in any situation).

Simple practices like prioritizing rest and sleep, practicing meditation or breathing, and exploring gentle labor tips for natural childbirth or a medicated birth can help support both your body as birth approaches. These small, intentional choices don’t guarantee a specific outcome, but they do help you feel more confident, informed, and supported throughout labor.

You don’t need to feel fearless to be ready. You’re allowed to prepare thoughtfully, rest deeply, and meet labor one step at a time, because that’s what matters most.